


now we're alone in the atmosphere (and i'm fading)

by epicallyducky



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Filipino Lance, M/M, i attempted to write fluff but my inner angst demon wasn't satisfied, keith-centric tbh, shh bear with me he says like one tagalog word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 09:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9542483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epicallyducky/pseuds/epicallyducky
Summary: Keith has doubts sometimes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> it's been too long since i've written anything proper so i hope i ain't that rusty lmao //sweats
> 
> inspired by the song Fading by Vallis Alps!! and that's also where the title's from

Keith could count the amount of things and people he cared about on his fingers.

All his life he was able to do that. They used to change from time to time; he found new things to care about, although the number never really goes beyond ten. He’s sub-categorized his health and hygiene under one thing, which is, well, he _himself._ Keith didn’t really like himself but he found that staying alive was important and something he –to a certain extent, cared about. Sometimes he thinks he should change Himself on the list to Survival.

Then Voltron happened, and the list shifted _drastically_ , much to Keith’s dismay. He was irritated about his system being unintentionally meddled with, but somehow he was able to work around it. It was never that difficult for him to sort out his priorities, but lately he found himself at a loss considering his –and everyone else’s current situation. His list at the moment consisted of the following:

The safety of the universe.

Voltron (Friends being a sub-category consisting of the other paladins and even Allura and Coran).

Finding out more about his Galra origins (which he hates thinking about, but finds very, _very_ important).

Getting back to (a safe) Earth.

Himself (his health, his safety –all that jazz of the like).

Lance.

Now, the first five things are a good lineup for his first five fingers, if you asked him. They’re little mental notes he’s somewhat scribbled onto his hand that help motivate him when Voltron is out kicking alien ass. They’re reminders that help him get up in the morning. They’re quiet thoughts in the back of his mind that seem to comfort him and terrify him at the same time. Keith must have been in space for a real long while now, seeing as “The safety of the universe” is some kind of a comfort to him as it is the heaviest weight on his shoulders.

On the other hand _–literally_ , a single, lone name sits there; has been for a few months now. Keith has been juggling it back and forth as of late and, honestly? It irritated him. Lance had way too many sub-categories. His happiness, his health, his safety, his feelings (and _yes,_ that was different from his happiness, mind you. Keith can’t exactly explain why but it just _is)_ , his feelings _toward Keith._

 _This is ridiculous-_ Keith would think to himself on a regular basis. Usually during times like this, when he woke up to a still-sleeping Lance next to him on his ( _their_ bed, now; Keith reminds himself) bed. Keith’s gaze flickers all over the other boy’s face, somehow attempting to look for the doubt he’s always worried was there. Keith scoots ever so closer to Lance without waking him.

The thing is, Keith loved Lance; a disgusting amount. He remembers the day he finally got his head out of his ass. The two of them had just finished training; Keith doesn’t remember when, but he and Lance fell into this kind of routine where they would meet in the training room to spar or battle the gladiator every other day. On one of those sessions, they found themselves in step with this rhythm that had their teamwork flow almost effortlessly. They didn’t even communicate much as blow after blow landed just right, and Keith had realized that it was due to the fact that they were _watching_ each other. They had each other’s backs and although they already did have that to hold on to when out on the battlefield, this felt different. Keith couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but the way he felt his heart beat faster after the session almost sent his head spinning; and he was pretty sure the rigorous training wasn’t the only factor contributing to his ever-quickening heartbeat.

Lance was looking at him some kind of way. Keith chalked it up as post-victory adrenaline rush as he glanced over to the now-deactivated gladiator in the middle of the room. Him and Lance were both breathing heavily, clutching their bayards with loosened fingers. Keith was sitting next to Lance on the floor, a little _too_ close that Keith was starting to think this could probably be unhealthy for him and his fragile, smitten soul. Lance grinned crookedly over to Keith and the latter felt as if the sun had just burnt him to a crisp with how fucking _bright that smile was_ -

Keith must have been staring, because then Lance’s face shifted into a look of confusion and mild concern; and Keith had wanted to somewhat avoid conversation from that point. Lance was about to open his mouth to ask what was wrong when something snapped inside of Keith, and with a soft _clang,_ his bayard fell onto the floor and his hands reached up.

Keith’s hands made contact with sweat-covered skin and the next thing he knew a pair of lips met his own and, shit, Keith had _really_ done it now.

He was about to jump back, about to start spewing apologies out of his mouth and tell Lance that that was a stupid-ass move of him and that they should never talk about it again for the sake of what little of Keith’s dignity was left. He was supposed to run away but, oh, something was holding onto his shirt and his back was starting to hurt from the awkward positions they’re in on the floor, but Lance is _kissing him back_ and Keith finds that he couldn’t give a single fuck at the moment even if his spine snapped in half.

He’s not aware of who pulls away first, but when they part, they’re both still breathing heavily and, yep, Keith is definitely getting lightheaded. His hands are still on Lance, one on his neck and the other on his waist. Lance’s hand is still clutching Keith’s shirt and he can feel the other boy’s grip tighten slightly.

“Hey,” Keith lets out pathetically, his chest heaving less now than it was a minute ago, but he was still winded enough to make his voice breathy and make him sound like he just ran the longest marathon of his life. Well, Keith was fairly certain his heart was running a thousand miles an hour, so he wouldn’t be surprised if it were true.

“Hey, pretty boy,” Lance laughs, voice just as breathy. Keith feels heat rise to his face and rolls his eyes, but doesn’t move his hands. He watches as Lance’s eyes flick all over his face, his expression unreadable despite the small smile on his face.

A soft smile made its way to Keith’s face at the memory, eyes still trained on Lance’s sleeping form. The rest of the story is embarrassing; with what Keith blurting out that he _may_ have had a crush on Lance for quite some time now. Lance had just laughed, short and loud, before butting their heads together and saying that he _may_ have had a crush on Keith, too, and that they were both “Goddamn idiots who were thicker than the goop they ate every day.” Lance’s words, not Keith’s.

Despite waking up on the right side of the bed that morning, Keith’s eyebrows furrowed. He knew that Lance was lonely up here. He knew that Lance would crave physical and emotional interaction outside the premises of the castle and who lived in it. That was one of the reasons why Lance flirted constantly, he was _craving_ interaction; affection, even.

Keith knew that he had a limited supply of energy for tolerance and patience, so when him and Lance had started dating, he realized pretty late that he just might not be able to meet Lance’s standards. As the days (or what supposedly felt like days; it was hard to tell in space) turned into months, Keith grew ever more doubtful. Lance never again flirted with any of the aliens they’ve encountered, no matter how seemingly attractive. Hell, Lance had stopped flirting with _Allura_ , and Keith would be lying if he said he wasn’t even a little bit terrified.

Lance, in reality, is Keith’s number one priority. It sounds stupid when he realizes it the first time, when Blue crashes down onto the surface of a planet near a battle with several Galra ships. Blue hadn't taken a completely bad hit, but the impact had her and Lance sent into the orbit of the planet; which had a insanely strong gravitational pull, sending them hurdling towards the ground at an alarming rate.

Keith had every right to be worried; the thing was, though, so did everyone else. Their main priority during the mission was to keep the Galra ships from reaching the planet Allura had successfully sealed an alliance with.

And, oh, of course, the planet just _had_ to be the one Lance was about to crash into.

Keith leaves his position in the middle of Pidge and Shiro, steering Red into the direction of the planet. He can hear the indignant shouts of Shiro and Allura but they’re white noise on his ears. He goes faster, trying to catch up with the burning blue figure in the distance.

They both end up crashing on the planet, him and Lance. The planet’s natives rushed to their aid only to piss-off Keith more. Allura patches things up with the frightened aliens, using her diplomatic ways and ever-so-smart choice in wording to explain that Keith was simply just worried about his fellow paladin –which, Keith can’t deny at all.

He gets an earful from Allura in front of the rest of the team when they get back to the castle. The Galra ships had retreated thanks to Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk, and no one came out injured; except, well, Lance and Keith, who had several cuts and bruises but no major wounds. Coran still sent them to the healing pods, also serving as a makeshift time-out for Keith.

The first thing Keith heard when he stumbled out of the pod was Lance telling him how much of an idiot he was. Keith stood there and took it, not even trying to bite back the smile that had made its way to his face when he saw Lance talking and breathing and _alive._

Keith snaps back to his reality. Lance is stirring lightly and mumbling something unintelligible under his breath. Keith sighs, reaches out to rest his hand on his boyfriend’s chest. Lance’s hand slowly comes to hold Keith’s and Keith holds his breath as Lance starts to blink his eyes open. Lance’s free hand tries to rub the sleep out of his eyes as the other intertwines its fingers with Keith’s.

“Sorry,” Keith says softly, fingers tightening around the other boy’s. Lance shakes his head a bit.

“S’fine,” Lance stops blinking, but his eyes are half-lidded. They both lie there in comfortable silence, basking in each other’s company and warmth. Lance’s thumb had started tracing random patterns on Keith’s hand, a gesture he knows soothes Keith.

Keith, however, can’t help but keep finding this _itch –_ this itch to ask Lance if he was just using him because he had no other options. The itch crawling under skin to keep _doubting, doubting, doubting,_ because there was no way in hell Lance could fall in love with _him._ The itch that was always telling him that the minute they all made it back to Earth, Lance would leave him and that Keith should be prepared for it; should expect it.

They were itches that needed to be scratched, and god help him if he doesn’t-

“Do you love me?” The words fly out before Keith is able to catch them –before he has the chance to lock them in a cage and never see the light of day.

Lance’s squints at him as if he’s a distant figure he’s trying to see clearly. Their hands are still resting against Lance’s chest, holding onto each other.

Keith wants to move, wants to let himself slip away somewhere where Lance would never be able to see him again. Who did Keith think he was? Questioning Lance’s feelings and being a rude asshole. There’s no harm in just wanting to know, however.

Right?

Right.

Keith has the urge to ask if Lance would have dove head-first to save him if he was about to crash.

Keith already knows the answer to that, however.

He knew Lance would. Because Lance was one the most selfless people he knew, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he had ever let a teammate get hurt when he was _right there_ and able to help. Lance would have rocketed Blue straight into a beeline, not caring that the results could be fatal. Lance throws himself out there to put others before himself and Keith feels the anger bubble in his chest because in contrast to Lance, Keith was so _selfish._

But Lance is smiling softly at him.

And Keith feels his hand being gripped tighter.

“ _Mahal_ , I don’t know what I’d be right now if I didn’t.” Lance says, voice unwavering, and Keith envies him.

And he wants to doubt.

And doubt.

And doubt.

But he guesses that Lance will have enough love for the both of them.

**Author's Note:**

>  _mahal_ = love (as a term of endearment)
> 
> (this is so all over the place lmao i'm sorry)
> 
> YO GUYS WHAT'S UP so i'm here?? i'm back??? this is my first ever (published) klance fic so please go easy on me!! i love these idiots so much i've always wanted to crack a shot at writing them so i hope this wasn't too bad. don't go to my dash pls i have like 10 septiplier stories and i would just like to say that _i don't ship it anymore._ i'm not taking those stories down bc my writing has grown and improved a stupid amount through those. so please ignore them if it isn't too much to ask.
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/FISCHLOUGHLIN)  
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